Sunday, July 01, 2007

2 Tired Krewe

It ain't a pretty thing, this gutting bidness. But unless I have a class to teach, I do it every afternoon. I expect to look in the mirror one day and see the human equivalent of a fiddler crab, with all the muscle development my right arm's getting from prying plaster and lath from the walls. But today, (Sunday), I got a call from Ray, a master of the art, offering to take time from his own busy day (unpacking from his recent move, among other things!), to share in the joy of gutting. And I definitely need the help. What an incredibly naive girl I have been, thinking I could do it all myself; thinking I'd be able to do a room a day. Hah!

This is a very strenuous and very dirty job, folks. (Those aren't new tattoos on Ray's forearms.) I have no doubt that anyone volunteering to help another undertake this nasty task gets off the hook for lots of bad karma. Anyone who's done it once and still volunteers to do it again is due for rewards in the afterlife that make martyrdom's rewards look like winning $500 in a lottery scratch-off game. If you know Ray, I'll bet you can imagine what his heaven's going to look like. You already know there will be more than 72 virgins --lots more. He's earned them. (And more to come...hah hah hah!)

Thank you, Ray! You join the ranks of those having my ceaseless awe and gratitude!

To the rest of you out there: You, too, can erase karma and start building the afterlife of your dreams by joining Ray and I next Saturday when we continue the big gut-job on my house. Since Ray far outranks me in experience, (and I'm not very good at asking for help, but obviously getting a little better at it), he's volunteered to organize this once-in-this-lifetime opportunity to help gut my house. That's right, I said once-in-this-lifetime. Whatever you're thinking, it's still going to be once. Period. If, perchance, you're not on the NOLA bloggers list-serve and you want to play with us on Saturday, leave a comment or drop me an e-mail. And if you have physical limitations that prohibit you from doing this kind of work, check with Ray, as there may be other things you can do to help out. (He'd know better than I would, and I humbly defer to him on all group gutting matters.)

In addition to the karmic benefits and the opportunity to develop a superhuman dominant upper limb, you can look forward to...

-- the experience of being wet, salty, and covered in sandy grit without having to go to the beach.

-- the opportunity to put your deodorant to the ultimate test.

-- one last chance to wear your favorite shirt with the holes/stains in public.

--temporary relief from the burden of vanity.

-- free snack food

-- the good feeling of knowing that the tetanus booster shot you got before returning to New Orleans was worth it. (FYI: the nails in the lath board will go right through the soles of a pair of Converse Allstars and into the sole of your foot, but not too deep.)

-- temporary crowbar tattoo, in your choice of black or red magic marker.

--more reasons for bona fide celebrity status than Paris Hilton.

-- the option to replace at least some of those lost fluids and electrolytes with beer.

-- hanging out with other crazy people who are at least twice as much fun as sane people.

-- the benefit of never having to listen to someone else tell you how nasty and difficult gutting a house during summer in New Orleans is.

-- the privilege of making other people who've never done it listen to you describe it.

-- my ceaseless awe and gratitude.

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Blogger Another Outspoken Female said...

I would if I could but a hemisphere and a full client load prevents me :(

3:13 AM  
Blogger LisaPal said...

Then I'll put you on the list of "There in Spirit." :-D

3:14 AM  
Blogger Richard said...

OOOOOOOO, now that I know about that list put me on it too! I would love to come and help with your house. If only I had caught the wave of the dotcom splash.

10:21 AM  
Blogger Brandy said...

Add me to the list. I will be there. What do I need? Gloves? Tools?

Cuz I don't have any. (I'm a renter)

Let me know details and I will be there.

1:35 PM  
Blogger Thomas said...

Where do I sign up

3:19 PM  
Blogger Ray said...

Info and RSVP for volunteers here:

3:28 PM  
Anonymous Ray said...

Oh, and I'd take one or two older women with mad skillz over 72 virgins any day.

3:38 PM  
Anonymous charlotte said...

And we were just talkig about this.... Ray to the rescue!

Well, you know my limitations but I'll be bringing food along with Morwen.

I can fan, hose off and massage too!!

4:33 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You know I'd be there to help out if I were in NO. Good luck with all that's going on, Lisa.

6:47 PM  
Anonymous Ingrid said...

Wish I could be there to help - I'd love a crowbar tattoo :)

6:49 PM  
Blogger Ole Blue The Heretic said...

I wish I could help out. After Rita hit I helped family pull out a lot of wet carpet etc. You have a tough job I wish you the best.

6:04 PM  
Blogger LisaPal said...

Brandy, it will be so great to finally see you!!! Thanks for your willingness to pitch in. And Charlotte, you will be indispensable.

Thomas, are you serious??? It's a long ride from Oklahoma for a few hours of messy work! Not that we wouldn't welcome you with open arms.

The rest of you will be added to the In Spirit list and I hope to be able to put you all on the In Person list one fine day, when it's a social rather than work kind of event.

5:52 PM  
Blogger Richard said...

Sooooo... How do the super fun work party go?

6:54 PM  
Blogger Speedcat Hollydale said...

The Fiddler Crab has a "strong right ...
600 x 500 - 38k - jpg
I see you use internet photos too.

I am just a small time "for fun" blogger. I do not ask for donations or make ANY money or gain from my blog. I did not claim to have taken the tornado picture, and added it because I thought it was a great picture.

8:10 AM  
Blogger LisaPal said...

Well, Speedcat, I guess I was confused, just like the other commenters who told you what awesome pictures you took of the tornados. Your response was to thank them. That looks like taking credit for someone else's work, to me. It also looked like you noted when the shot were taken, but I see the post reads differently than it did a few hours ago. I'm sorry if I offended you or hurt your feelings, but I just don't like seeing anyone take credit for someone else's (fairly well known) work.

BTW, You'll note that I didn't claim credit for the crab picture. And, in fact, it is not John Pratt's shot either, as you indicated. It appears to be stock photography. It's on other websites, too.

Finally, I'm just a small time blogger, too. I don't make any money from this blog, but I did put up a donation button at the request of my blog friends who wanted some way to help us out after hurricane Katrina wrecked out home and the failure of the levees kept us from returning to our city. It was never a "money maker," but the little we did recieve helped us during our 5 month exile in Virginia. I hope you won't hold that against me. And if you poke around the photos on my blog, you might notice that, with the exception of stock photography, I always credit the photographer.

Thanks for stopping by.

10:03 AM  

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