Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Why?


My Studio-in-the-Closet
Originally uploaded by LisaPal.
I know I have lots of reasons to be thankful. I am thankful. And a Christmas tree with decorations and armloads of presents wouldn't make a bit of difference. I just can't seem to shake these blues. Christmas is 5 days away. Honestly, it's a holiday that I could do without, but I have kids. And Rachel has been playing in the bathtub gleefully singing Christmas songs over and over for the last hour. Normally, a happy, singing child brings me great joy, and indeed, I'm happy to hear her singing like that. But it just doesn't feel like Christmas to me and I just don't feel like I have anything to look forward to up here with no family and only a handful of friends, all of whom are all busy with their own lives. (That's fine with me, though, because I just don't feel very sociable right now and have been fighting a cold anyway.)

I spoke to Renard a little while ago and he summed it up by noting that I just don't have anything to look forward to...at least not anything pleasant. And there's really nothing for me to do here either, now that I've exhausted myself analyzing the feasibility of staying through the school year and working here. If I could get out of this funk, I could work more on my music. A couple of months ago, I went and sat in at a jazz jam here and met a guy who plays guitar and bass and is a great songwriter. I heard a few of his songs and they suit my preferred singing style very well. But he recently admitted having a crush on me and this makes me a little uncomfortable. But it would be nice to play around with some of his songs in my studio-in-the-closet. (I have this wonderful enormous walk-in closet in my room in this apartment, big enough for my stuff, a table and one or two chairs, the computer and all my equipment -mic/microphone stand, mini-monitors,mic pre-amp, control surface/interface, mini-mixer, keyboard, electric, acoustic and 12-string guitars, effects pedal-board, and my bass- all brought up here when I went home to get my car and check on the house in October. And this closet may be the thing I miss most about being here, as my wonderful old house in New Orleans has two tiny ones in my room and one even smaller one under the stairs...and that's it!) Oh, how I will miss this wonderful closet!

Oh well. I'm a full-blown insomniac now. It's 5:30 AM and I'm wide awake. But I'm changing the date and time on this post so that it will follow my Christmas carol, as it should.

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home