One More Under My Belt
One more year, that is, as Blogger ticks up my age by another notch. I haven't been posting for more than one reason. The first is the computer issue. The second is the funk hanging over me. I have remedied the first by opening a Sam's Club charge account and buying the cheapest Windows laptop they had. Now I can use the Sprint Aircard for internet access from my country refuge. You can return computers to Sam's for a refund for up to six months and I intendto do just that once I'm Macin' again. I know it's jive to buy something to use with the intention of returning it, but I did honestly contemplate keeping this machine. After using it for a bit, I decided I just don't want it. It came with bad pixels on the screen and I have no programs for it anyway. And Virginia is enough foreign terrain for me. As change goes, I've already had more than enough and I don't need to struggle through a new OS as well. (Besides, I'm not the type to be content with a shallow and superficial relationship with an operating system.)
As reason #2 goes, I think it needs no explaining. I have been missing my home, my family, my friends, my things, my job and my familiar landscape. And today is my birthday. This afternoon I would have taught my music marketing class at UNO. Before this storm came, I had begun to organize a special class outing to the Faubourgh Marigny for this evening, with food and live music at Cafe Brazil as part of the event. This weekend my mother would have cooked the meal of my choice and made a birthday cake and my brother and his family would have come over to enjoy it with us. I miss them. Who knows what Renard and I might have done? Surely something, regardless of the status of our relationship.
So, I moped around today, going through the motions in my daily attempt to forge a *normal life* in this strange new place we inhabit. And then, late this afternoon, a UPS and a DHL truck arrived at the same time and unloaded five boxes. I perked up immediately, just like a little girl on her birthday should. Three boxes were from my friend Bonnie who lives in LA. She went thrift-store shopping and procured all kinds of neat clothing for the three of us, including a very cool black leather jacket for Alex. And one box contained some wonderful teas from De, complete with the necessary storage tins! The last box was from our beloved former babysitter, Ingrid, who sent a Barbie for Rachel, some iTunes gift cards for Alex and an electric kettle for me! Ingrid, how did you know that I've always wanted the kind of kettle that detaches?? If you could have seen how excited we all were, you'd all have been moved. All this made it a happier birthday, no question.
I have so many people to thank for so much (and Muse is at the top of the list), but it's late and I'm so tired now. I think my ceaseless fatigue is some little symptom of depression. Whatever sadness I feel, it's source is buried deep down inside me and is not accessible to the part of my brain that forms words. But my gratitude to all of you who have demonstrated so much generosity and kindness pours forth from the depths of my heart and soul. I want to thank you all by name, individually and collectively, publicly and privately, and in every way, shape and form possible. Give me a little time to regroup and I will.
Thanks again and I love you all!