Sunday, April 03, 2005

Extreme Home Makeover Post Script

Well, I knew Braithwaite, Louisiana was down the river, but it's apparently WAY down the river. It was far enough into the boondocks for the woman in the aforementioned episode to have eight acres!!! Jesus! My lot is approximately 30 feet wide and 120 feet deep. Many houses in the older parts of New Orleans (like mine) have no driveways because they were built before there were cars. (I'm on a corner so, with some extra money, I could remedy that problem.)

Anyway, the only thing remotely like New Orleans, (including the pathetic excuse for a Mardi Gras parade), was the accent of the woman whose house was renovated. Now, if you happened to watch the show, don't speculate that she must be originally from Brooklyn. Contrary to popular belief, that's what many, if not most native New Orleanians sound like. (Not me, though. Most people who meet me for the first time, those who do know the real accent, don't think I was born and raised here. I usually thank them when they tell me that.)

And UNO's big mention was that they gave her a scholarship, but PhD students usually get tuition wavers anyway...

I'm glad they chose her for the Extreme Home Makeover. She lost her husband and eldest son in a car accident about a year ago and has her hands full with a 6 year old son, two very energetic 3 year old twin boys, and a house that had been torn up for a renovation by her husband before he died. Cosmetically, the inside of her house before the renovation made me feel much better about mine and she definitely needed a lot of work to get it functional. Mine looks bad on the outside, especially along the side, has many serious problems that are not obvious at first glance (though on some rooms, it's very obvious), and is bereft of all many practical features, most notably, closets and other useful storage space. And she may have 8 spacious acres fronting the Mississippi, but Braithwaite is about a 45 minute drive from the city, on a good day. That's way too far from civilization for me. (Though after reading my next post, you may question my definition of civilization.)

Still, I'd be so grateful if anyone would come and fix all the ills of this house and make it better. Preferably, without someone having to die in order for me to be the beneficiary of such kindness.


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