Monday, November 29, 2004

Breaking Up is Hard to Do

Lake Sunset
Originally uploaded by LisaPal.
And so the sun set on Lake Pontchartrain on the evening of Thanksgiving and, despite having been preempted from my usual dinner time oratory on all the things we have to be thankful for, (a topic much ignored by my extended family this year, as it turned out,) I did ponder much on the topic and I know I have so very many things to be grateful for. And I am very grateful.

I am considered by most who know me well to be more of a Pollyanna type, always finding something good -some lesson or opportunity -in practically every situation judged as bad or unfortunate. I am not known as a complainer, though I will spout off when utterly frustrated by something. Injustice and the failure to use sound reasoning are two things that ignite me rather easily.

And as the Sun Set, the Moon Rose

Lake Moonrise
Originally uploaded by LisaPal.
And so here we come to the rest of it, the things that have been riding along in my head these past few weeks, causing what I have come to recognize as a rather insidious kind of depression, one that has rendered me null and dispassionate toward most of the things for which I usually have a great deal of passion.

And I don't like feeling this way one bit. But I digress. Back to the rest of it, that topic only alluded to in the previous post...

I Love You BUT...

Dear America,

I cannot count the number of times I have felt and expressed tremendous gratitude for having come into being in this country rather than any of a number of other places on Earth where the things we have been able to take for granted barely exist, if at all. You've provided a good life for me with much that I have wanted and much more than I have truly needed, not to mention the many, many opportunities you've offered. I'm truly grateful.

But in the last few years you've changed and frankly, those changes have become frightening to me. And while I do love you with my whole heart, I feel that what was supposed to be your unconditional love for me and many of my other brothers and sisters has been changing to indifference, if not downright contempt. You have made many decisions on my behalf that have compromised both my freedom and my safety, as well of those of my children, friends, family and the majority of my fellow citizens, whether they realize it or not.

As someone who values love over all things, especially aggression, I feel I cannot stay here and fight with you to change your mind. Aside from love, the only weapons in my arsenal are facts, logic and reason, things we both once valued but you now have eschewed for hypocrisy, deception, self-righteousness, pride and arrogance. These serve as impenetrable shields against the weapons I and those like me wield, thus this is a battle I feel cannot be won. At least not anytime soon, I fear. And I love my children far too much to subject them to what the future portends.

So, given your tolerance to open relationships with other countries, I am entertaining the notion a grand affair with one that suits me better. I do intend to be descreet and I know you'll ignore my new romance as long as it's with one you feel is acceptable, and expect you'll find this one to be so. And I hope that, should our differences prove to be irreconcilable, you'll grant me a quickie divorce and make it as painless as possible for me. I know I don't matter much to you, so it should hardly be worth the time and effort to do otherwise.

Please understand, America, that I truly love you and always will, only now, my preference is to do that from a distance and in the arms of another. It is my sincere hope that it doesn't take a severe blow to the head for you to come to your senses and become the truly wise, caring, compassionate and humble nation you were designed to be - a nation that embraces us all, without prejudice , one that doesn't manipulate and exploit the many for the benefir of the few, and one that loves and respects all its global neighbors and the planet it occupies, as well. There is more strength in these things than in all the warheads in your armory. If and when that day comes, if it doesn't take too long, I will hapilly come home to you, my first love.

So, dear America, because I've only given you generalizations about why I feel we must separate for now, I will continue to post a number of specific examples of your behavior that alarm me, as well as some of the disconcerting consequences your decisions have wrought. I do this for those parts of your collective mind that just don't understand.

With Much Love,



Blogger Lasciate said...

Beautiful, eloquent, and very sad.

Just now, this post reminded me of a friend of mine, wiser and more experienced than I and adept at that horary thing in a way I never have been. She looked, as she could, and didn't like what she saw about the direction America was heading in. I remember she told me she was leaving, because the changes she saw were frightening to her.

Whatever happens in the days to come, I wish you well, Lisa.

5:38 AM  
Blogger LisaPal said...


I still have tons of work to do to make this happen and it will no doubt take a lot of time, not to mention much heartbreak. But I feel strongly about this.

In any case, even if I'm not in the US, I'll still be able to blog...

5:23 PM  
Blogger Lasciate said...

I hope you do :)

5:29 AM  
Blogger Richard said...

Your really going to move?

11:43 PM  
Blogger Claypot said...

Lisa - I feel for you. I have a friend's wedding and another friend's kid's christening I have been invited to in the US, and I don't want to go, because I don't want to get hassled by customs, immigration, yadda yadda yadda. But if people like you leave America, you are leaving it in the hands of the Bushites. They will have won. America needs you!

4:07 AM  
Blogger Roberto Iza Valdes said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

3:24 PM  
Anonymous Rene Dosier said...

I''m not familiar with this subject but interesed.

10:49 AM  
Blogger Roberto Iza said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

9:08 AM  

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